Battered men aren’t taken very seriously. The week before the Ross Kemp/ Rebekah Wade story broke in 2005 - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4403026.stm - I was on a bus headed for Elephant and Castle in South London.

A couple talking in Greek arguing and understandably, it was both uncomfortable and intriguing to nearby passengers.

Once off the bus, while waiting at the bus stop, this continued with intermittent calm periods of smiling. He had some success in placating her but moments later she was hitting him several times about the head.

He looked around, deeply embarrassed, and after some hesitation walked off with his luggage in tow. She waited a few moments, looked almost bored and then calmly followed.

Considering that I don’t speak Greek, I have no idea what the story was behind this particular incident. Of course I made a few unfounded guesses: perhaps he’d cheated, maybe he’d taunted her one too many times. It seemed all too easy to assume that he was responsible for the situation that caused such ire. One thing I am absolutely sure of was that there was no excuse for her behaviour.

The most telling part about reactions to this kind of violence was the response of the people standing around. In another incident, also on a bus, I found myself standing between and defending a drunken woman from her male partner who kept telling her to ‘shut up’, raising his fist and tightening her scarf so she couldn’t breathe.

In Elephant and Castle I wondered whether to say something. Others around me, mainly men, tutted and shook their heads; I couldn’t entirely tell if this was disapproval of her behaviour or that they couldn’t believe a man would allow a woman to do that to him, especially in public.

Everyone seemed to be happy to pretend it wasn’t happening. No one stepped in or said anything. I’m sure this wouldn’t have been the case had the roles been reversed and she had been a man attacking his female partner. It wouldn’t have passed as just another deeply uncomfortable incident on a London bus.

The general tone of the stories following the Kemp/Wade story and that of his fellow co-star, Steve McFadden, were of disapproving amusement. Given the actors’ roles as hard men on the BBC soap Eastenders this seemed inevitable. However, as a woman, I found it deeply hypocritical. If domestic violence is to be taken seriously against women it has to be a two-way street. I hope we will begin to take a more equal stance in our discussions of, and attitudes towards violence, against either sex.

Well, perhaps it's about time I kicked this thing off.